Have you ever answered your phone and had the person on the other end just unload everything on their mind in one breath? You don’t get a word in edgewise and you feel like they are just talking to hear themselves talk; what do you do? How do you recover after you hear things you may not have been ready to mentally digest? Have you ever been in a personal quagmire where you find yourself contemplating whether you should answer the phone when you look and see that a certain someone is calling?
Often it could be a boss, a co-worker, friend, or even a family member than you dread speaking with because you already know how the conversation is going to go. Would you consider it rudeness to not take the call? Perhaps it could be a true emergency this time. Would you consider it “self preservation” to ignore the call and get back to them when the timing is right for you? Will the timing ever be right when you know that the person on the other line only wants to dump all of their emotional baggage in your lap so that they can feel better and you are left feeling like you’ve now got your own drama plus a heaping load of mess someone else had no trouble leaving behind?
As counselors, it is easy to face burnout when people look to you to fix them or save their situation. People use the counselor as a way to look for help or solutions without doing any of the work on their own.
For the record, it is NOT nice or polite for anyone that is supposed to be a friend or close acquaintance to make more withdrawals than deposits within friendships or cordial relationships. For example, when you call….ask me how I’m doing first. Ask if it’s a good time to talk or listen. Give me a heads up or a warning that you are in need of an hour or two of my time to discuss the “heavy stuff”. Also, please understand if I have to decline the invitation to your pity party….It’s because of you and the way your conversations drain me.
Our solution in all effort to livelifepashunately is that you try to:
LEARN TO THINK POSITIVE AND SPEAK TO THE GOOD IN YOUR LIFE. FOCUS ON WHAT IS GOING WELL AND MORE OF THE SAME WILL FLOW INTO THE ATMOSPHERE AROUND YOU!
