Do Black Women Still Love Black Women?

How do I find love?  Why am I still single?  Why can't I find a good man?

All questions we ask ourselves.  I read a blog from one of my friends Ms. L.A Kearney where she posed the  question whether or not Men still love Black Women?  In it she address some stereotypes men have about black women which I found to be like she said "surface" issues.  Some stereotypes were based upon the  "lack of" certain things that we have like desire (attractiveness), opportunity (availability), education, and good looks.  What da hell?  You know you mad when you start to abbreviate 3 letter words. I had to take a step back analyze where these thoughts were coming from and say to myself  Why do people have these perceptions of us?  What images are we putting out to the world and why?  So it lead me to this thought Do Black Women Still Love Black Women?  I pose this question because I want to know how can we search for love from somewhere or someone else if we don't love ourselves first?  We have to know how to love and appreciate us in order for us to tell or show someone else how to love and appreciate us. If we don't the results can be damaging.  We start to look for love in all the wrong places and with all the wrong people.

I hear the arguments all the time that their are no good men out there, most of them are dead, in jail, or gay. No, I am not saying that we as women directly caused these men to be in those situations but... What I am saying is since you feel your chooses are so limited why don't you make yourself the best you, you can be so that when you do find Mr. Youcouldberight you are the best choice for his mate.  I technically have been out of the dating game for a long time but I have discussions all the time with single women the issues that they have with finding and keeping a man seem to be internal issues that they have within themselves. Inner battles and conflicts.


Case and Point: I asked one of my dearest friends one day to tell me what she loved about herself and she told me "nothing."  I said what about your skin, "No, I am having a break out session due to stress."  Well what about your height. "Do you know how hard it is to find a man taller than I am?"  Everything I threw at her she discredited in some way.  I told her to imagine herself as an open house.  If I am a prospective buyer and I come through and I notice all the cracks in her foundation why would I want to buy her house.  I will see all the work that is needed and turn away especially if I am not a handyman or Mr. Fix It.  We need to take a strong and firm look at ourselves.  We have to learn to love and accept every part of who we are including our faults.  Once we embrace that self love we can open ourselves up to receive the love that is destined and ordained for us. Embracing doesn't mean not changing certain faults or problem areas.  It means to recognized them and work on them.  Learn where they come from and why you behave the way you do. 

I know that this is not an easy task by far.  But we have to start somewhere.  We have to set the example for the younger generations of women to come.  It took me years to start to embrace me.  My best friend offers a challenge at the end of her blogs and I will work to incorporated that with in mines also.
 
TODAYS CHALLENGE: Tell yourself how much you love you today.  I mean from the toe nails on your feet to each and every strand of your hair.  Even if you have a hard time believing yourself do it.  Make it a daily practice.  You will start to feel and see the love in due time.