Who I am.... Continued

As I got off the phone with my best friend-Passious....I felt like I was not myself. Our conversation was intense and lengthy and I had many thoughts swirling around inside this massive head of mine and I turned to my music to soothe and comfort me as I attempted to drift off into dreamland. I searched through my downloaded music to find 'my song'...there was so much to choose from but my first choice was In Due Time by Outkast and Cee-Lo. That song always seems to humble and remind me that things always tend to happen in due time...it may not be MY time but it seems to be God's time. One line in the song says 'struggling just a part of my day....many obstacles have been placed in my way' I feel like things can only get better but I have to do my part to make things the way I want them to be. Perhaps some people put all of their trust in a higher force and literally wait for things to happen. I feel that I leave no stone unturned and I do my part to aid or speed up the process.

Another song that I have often used to describe me is Sade's King of Sorrow. Some of my closest friends think Sade is depressing and now that I'm writing this blog....I agree....the song makes me feel like as a social worker and a caring person, I take on waaaaay too much drama and sadness and somehow make it my own. I find myself feeling like nothing I do will make my world and the world of those around me any better. I must note that these feelings arise when I listen to these songs so I will be deleting and updating now that I notice a trend! Also, I realized that each conversation I have with others makes me realize how I do and don't want to be. I want to be happy and stress free and I want to be financially obese.

The last song I can use to describe me at the moment is a song by Nas and Damien Marley entitled Patience. I realize that patience is a virtue and it's something I have to work on often. Patience with myself, those around me, and even those that I will never be able to help or "change". I listen to the song a lot and I gather different meanings each time I hear it. I need to be patient with ignorant people while hoping and praying that they will wake up one day. I have to be patient with a system that appears to be designed to assist some of our weakest citizens at failing! I have to be patient with the world around me and keep striving and plugging away hoping that changes will occur on so many levels.

Ledisi has a song called Bravo and it reminds me to clap for myself and celebrate my smallest victories which is what I try to take inventory and do at the end of each day. I make it my business to keep up an attitude of gratitude even when I complain...it's followed up with a look on the bright side. Overall, I have had a day of mixed emotions but I recognize my blessings and I am very fortunate for everything I have at this moment.

As we all continue to live and learn, I pray that everyone reading this blog is Better, Brighter, and Blessed.

Chowan Moore Aforo
Connected By Hope